saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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