He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
