There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
