so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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