you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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