About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he was CRYING into my vagina
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
