did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
