Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize