just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I love having hate sex.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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