Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
