When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We left an ass print on the piano.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
