I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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