I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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