i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
