Having a random hookup so left but love u
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
