butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We need to feng shui this bitch.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
