worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love you. Go after that dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
