Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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