he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
