Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize