there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
