I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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