so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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