so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
