Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
