when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
we're so committed to being not committed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize