Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think people are normalizing furries
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
