Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
