Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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