Define "chronic" masturbator.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Sacagawea was the original milf.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
