There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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