yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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