That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
well you can't waste a boner
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize