You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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