90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize