so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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