this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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