The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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