So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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