Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
