capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
