I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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