that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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