Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
