I need help removing her.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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