If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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