I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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