It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
