What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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