Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
