his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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