a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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