I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
