I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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