HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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