I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
