It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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