I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
