I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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