So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The power of my boobs compel you
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
