I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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