Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
