I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
