You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
