Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
